Thursday, October 10, 2013

Why We Moved From California

Well, this post is sure to get some attention! 

I was asked by a few people on why we moved
from California
and how we chose the State and town we did.

Our story isn't as romantic as it may seem 
and throughout all of the hurt, sadness,
guilt, embarrassment  and hard choices
we've had to make in the last 5.5 years,
right now I can say this:
For us to be where we are at this moment,
all of that has been well worth it.
We found our HOME.
Not just the house we live in,
but the environment that surrounds us.
The peace that we have found here
is indescribable. 
You think I'm exaggerating?
Read on.

Here goes....

When I found out I was pregnant,
we immediately found out there
were two. I'm talking from the very first doctor appointment.
Apparently that pee cup tells A LOT without
saying a peep. 
At our 20 week ultrasound,
we discovered that Baby B had a heart defect.

Being self employed, we had no health coverage and as we
all know, if you have a pre-existing condition,
it ain't gonna happen!
BUT, we did have a way!
We had to incorporate the business, include all employees on
it and pay half of their medical premium!

California was wringing their hands...
Of COURSE the only coverage we could get was
through California.

2008 was the most emotional year of my life.

*Worrying about the babies.
*Listening to Genetics specialists 
several different times
give us "options" {termination}
because since Baby B had a heart defect, 
he could also have A.B.and C., all of
which ranged from Down Syndrome to Schizophrenia. 
*Business slowed for my husband.
*I was a Realtor in a down turned market.
*I was VERY pregnant having "Braxton Hicks" contractions.
*We were burning through our savings
to pay for all of this insurance stuff.
the babies came early.
Too early.
2.5 pounds each.

2 months in NICU for Brock.
3 months in NICU for Trey so he could
grow enough for his surgery.
{His pulmonary valve never formed
and he had a hole in his heart}.

We both spent every waking minute bedside with those two. 
I would go all day, come home to pick my daughter up from school 
then Bruce would go after work, sometimes staying the night
and going back to work straight from the hospital.

 We weren't making enough money to pay for all of our outgoing expenses
and lucky for us, gas was at $5 a gallon.
Our monthly insurance premium was similar to our house payment so,
making the only decision we could,
we fell behind in our mortgage.
{There's  A LOT more to that part but it's too lengthy}
Anyway, we walked away from our home after playing 
Wells Fargo's BS games.

We lost everything we had.
All material, but it's still shameful when 
people that were once your friends {including family}, 
turn their backs on you, create their own stories
 and talk behind your back.
None of those people are in our lives now, thankfully,
but I know they'll be reading this, as it's those people that
seem to be the most "interested"
in what we are doing in our lives now.

Recovery from something like that is hard.

From that time, to the time that we decided,
"enough is enough", we struggled.
We let go of our employees because the cost of 
running a Construction business in CA is INSANE.
Insurances, Liabilities, Worker's Comp, 
new "found" fee's implied by the State,
were all enough to say, ENOUGH.

And the cost of living? Disgusting.
Why should a dwelling to provide shelter 
cost so much?

So, I got on the internet 3 years ago looking at different
parts of the Country.

Cost of living.
Business friendliness.

We went to Idaho for a visit
but it wasn't far enough away from the 
West, they are very vocal about their dislike for Californians 
 and it just wasn't what we were looking for.

So I started researching the South.
Check, check, check.

This State and town picked us, really.

Of course I fell in love with the homes, 
the affordable cost of living and the history - on paper.
But actually coming here to visit, 
sold us.

Southern Hospitality is real
and it lives right here.

When we saw the house we came to see,
that was it.
We wanted it to be home.

{Now, I didn't get my house to open my dream B&B, but I
know who owns it now and can visit! Haha!}

Going back to CA after our first visit put us in full gear to 
crunch numbers and be realistic.

Comparing apples to apples. Every dime, nickel and penny.

The truth? Leaving California would cut our living expenses
by 3/4, and that is the God's honest truth.

My dad warned me, "You know if you leave and it doesn't work out, 
it's gonna be real hard for you to come back and start over". 
{apparently daddy forgot how stubborn I am and don't like to fail
and that I married a man that is the same way}

Yeah, dad, only we would NEVER go back and if you can't
make a living (t)here then there's something definitely wrong
with you.

We scrimped every cent we could and sold off as much as we could,
to save enough for our down payment and living expenses.

And here we are.

July 4, 2013.
No longer citizens of a State that is so broke
it gouges hard working people.

July 4, 2013.
The beginning of the best of our lives.

As I type this, the boys are out back playing in our green backyard, 
the birds are singing and the sky is as blue as can be.
The dog is snoozing at my feet, Petunia is at Volleyball
and I'm sipping my beloved Dirty Chai Tea. .

Regrets? None.

Do I miss CA? Not a thing except my friends.

What I feel we've gained?
A stress free life.
Bruce doesn't have the stress constantly hovering over him
of being able to provide for his family anymore.

The time to actually look around at nature's beauty
and ENJOY it.

A town of family where
everyone greets you and asks how you're doing.

 We get unexpected homemade treats-just because.

A place where you wave at everyone as you drive through town 
and they all wave back, or vice-versa.
 {It's really like that!!}

Where you can walk through town to pay your utilities and
while you're doing that, people look you in the eye, smile and say good morning.

It's just the way it is.

THAT'S what I love.

I LOVE this small town in the Country.

WE love our new home. 

Bruce has been working steady and I'm here being
homemaker, homeschooler and Mama.

My business will pick up when, where and how it's supposed to.

I'm just waiting for it to tell me those things.

We are happy. Leaving CA was the best decision we have made.

Were we scared? Sure, but fear is the unknown.

Doing research, visiting
and thoroughly examining 
all of your options is a must.

We concluded that if we could make ends meet {barely} in CA,
we can make it anywhere.

And that's it.

I am not ashamed of what happened to us.
We are good people and did what was right for our family.
A house is just a house.
We have a beautiful family and we are all healthy 
and together.

That's all that matters.

Oh, and by the way, we found out that WF's 
programs set up to help people with situations
like ours, were bogus and fraudulent. 

It was nice cashing their check.
We could have got the house back but after
everything that happened, we declined. 

**I will not be posting comments on this post but if you'd like to email me,
you can still do it through the comments or at 
PLEASE include your email address so I can reply back!
Not everyone's email address comes through with blogger.

xo, Amber

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